SELECTED WORK

Based on a practice of rigorous self-interrogation via meditation, butoh, and durational performance, these intensely subjective works, which utilize drawing, dance, live performance, video, sound, photography and installation, address issues of emotional intelligence, relationship, identity, the subconscious and memory. Exploring what it is to be human by looking at the messy, scary, ordinary and extraordinary bits of life from a deeply personal point of view, the work aims to activate the psychological, spiritual and political potential of the self.

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And Then There Was All That Time...

video, sound 10m, 2012-2014

This 3 channel video piece asks these questions: What do we do with our time? Is it productive? Do we waste it? How do we spend it? Do we have regrets? Will we have regrets? Should we change course? Alter the path? We cannot see where we are going, only where we have been. How do we do the right thing? Does it matter? What do we tell ourselves to make it alright? What would it take to change? Do we care? Who is making the decisions? What are the conflicts? How will we feel about it all when it is over?


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Out Of That, There Is This

painting, performative photography, digital manipulation, 2012-2014

What do we project, internalize, let out, keep hidden? How are we seen? How do we see ourselves? How does all of this change over time? This series of self-portraits combines images of paintings with performtive photography to explore the dichotomy, similarity and overlap that exists between our internal and external existences and the remembered and current perceptions of both.


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See Them

video, sound 10m, 4s 2014

This piece explores what we don't want to see in ourselves...all the scary, shameful, ugly, lewd parts of our history. They haunt us...our dreams, our memories...they color the way we see ourselves and in the way we act in the world...what we think we are capable of. This piece asks us to notice them, to look at them...to see them. And by doing that, perhaps we can start to see ourselves differently...be better, act better, see ourselves and others with more compassion.


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Hole

drawing, performative photography, digital manipulation, 2013-2014

Since childhood, I have been trying to fill an existential hole in myself with all sorts of people, places and things. Hasn't worked. These images combine drawings of child-like figures (psychological self-portraits) with performative photos of my adult face, with an eye to describing the frustration of trying to fill an un-fillable space.


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Am I Who I Am?

drawing, video, motion graphics, sound 5m, 2013-2014

Who are we? How do we figure it out? What signifiers do we use to know who we are? What happens when those signifiers disappear? Who am I without labels and categories? Am I only my feelings? I created nine drawings - psychological self -portraits. These were digitized and animated and layered with the video on which the drawings were based. These elements were combined with a soundscape that was created with sounds from a day in my life and a melody created from numbers of personal significance to create a piece which explores the complex emotional reactions to loss of identity and familiarity.


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Shifted

video, sound, 5m, 2013

What happens when everything changes? How do we react? Where do we dig in? What is our comfort zone? How flexible or rigid are we? These are the questions with which this video deals. This piece was created during the first 6 months after moving to a new country where everything was different and unfamiliar; and, the sense of loss and being lost was constant. It is an exploration of what it means to change, to shift, to be shifted.


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Self

painting, performative photography, digital manipulation, 2012-2013

How do we deal with disappointment, disillusion, rejection and fear? As I continue to explore questions of identity, vulnerability and aging, I find that there are places inside myself that I didn't know were there (or more truthfully would like to hide). I am discovering the mean, violent, spiteful, despairing and overly self-conscious parts of myself. I strongly believe I must look at myself if I am to make a difference in the world. This piece looks deeply to see the truth of that self.


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Ease Me Into Invisibility

painting, motion graphics, video, sound, 5m 3s, 2013

This piece explores aging as a path to social and cultural invisibility. Video and digitized drawings and paintings were layered and animated to create a piece which considers the life cycle from childhood to old age and delves into the inevitability most of us face as we age, an awareness of our decrease in value. Deconstructed chords and lyrics from the hymn, I'll Fly Away were used to create the soundscape.


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Another Moment Of Silence

drawing, painting, photography, video, motion graphics, sound, installation, 10m 20s,
2012-2013

This video explores the dichotomy between victim and perpetrator. In this deeply personal piece, I asked myself, when am I the perpetrator, the creator of violence? Where is the line between the violence I enact on the world in little ways everyday and what is done to me. I wondered, why do I always think of myself as on the side of the good? Do we all draw the line that way? In a world with so much overt, mass violence, it is easy to be the victim, or at least, not the perpetrator, but I questioned...is this so? Commission for {Re}HAPPENING 2013, Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center, Black Mountain, NC, USA


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Hyfee

video, sound, 5m, 2010-2013

Do I remember when I first discovered my toes? Probably not...but I tried to imagine what these earliest memories might be like. This piece explores the physicality and psychology of infants as they are first encountering their world and themselves. Hummed nursery rhymes provide the sound to create a dream-like world inspired by early childhood.


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Simulation

video, motion graphics, sound, 9m 2s, 2012

This piece explores expressions of emotion...uncontrolled or manipulative, outwardly-focused emotion and repressed feelings that we only let out in private. We are all capable of using, consciously or not, our emotional expressions to manipulate a situation, assure an outcome...to get our way. Similarly, we have all been in situations where we must hide our feelings for the same reasons. Our emotional lives as human beings shape our thoughts, actions and beliefs. In this very personal work, these expressions are exposed to illuminate just how incredibly vulnerable we are.


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Containments

video, motion graphics, sound, 5m 4s, 2012

Abandonment, specifically early childhood abandonment is the theme of this piece. Using physical barriers as a metaphor for the constructs that are created as a reaction to perceived rejection, the video explores the psychology of abandonment and the behaviors that develop to defend against the massive betrayal a child experiences as a result of abandonment. The soundscape describes the attempt to connect over huge emotional gulfs by layering one voice over another as if trying to reach out and sync that which cannot be.


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Solo Party Dress

digital drawings, video, motion graphics, sound, 5m 11s, 2012

What began as a meditation on and a "I cannot pretend this isn't happening" confrontation with neglect and abuse, resulted in this "girls just want to have fun, dancing with myself" piece. Over a period of almost a year, I created drawings of abused animals, digitized them, then digitally drew the negative spaces between the bodies. Using the Buddhist practice of tonglen to transform suffering, multiple layers of these 800+ shapes were animated, and combined with animated graphics, 1920's inspired movement and gypsy-rag sound loops to create a kaleidoscope of eye candy that transforms my pain over the horrors of inhumanity into a "private moment" kind of joy.


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The Usefulness Of Persistent Distance

video, motion graphics, sound, 10m 13s, 2011-2012

This video looks at the means by which we use distance to create autonomy. Emotional and physical barriers are constructed for various purposes such as the allowance of intense focus, preservation of sanity or safety and development of the self. The images in this work are metaphorical vignettes that explore distancing behavior.
This piece was commissioned for Synthesis, MoogFest Public Art Celebration, Asheville, NC, USA


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Be A Star...Boom

drawing, performative photography, painting, digital manipulation, 2010-2011

When childhood is interrupted, whether by hunger, violence, neglect, abuse or any number of other variables, a star is lost. And when the star is gone, there is no boom. Distrust and defended-ness are what takes its place. This makes our world a very sad place...very few stars, very few booms. This series is a meditation on loss in childhood and the resulting masked vulnerability that is the by-product. It encourages us to be a star anyway...to boom anyway. It was created with drawings and paintings that were digitized, manipulated and recombined with performance stills.


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So Much More

painting, performative photography, digital manipulation, 2010

This series of images explores feeling less than. We are told not to compare our insides to other people's outsides, but we do, don't we? There is so much more going on inside than is ever seen and it is sometimes hard to manage that reality when everyone around us looks to be calm, fine and happy.


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Valued

drawing, painting, performative photography, digital manipulation, 2009-2010

This series was created by combining nine psychological self-portraits reflecting various ages, which were digitized, manipulated and recombined with performance stills. This piece explores the questions: What is the value of a person in terms of her age? As we grow older, do we lose parts of ourselves but gain through experience? As we age are we enhanced or diminished?


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Self Referential

painting, photography, digital manipulation, 2008

How do we see others? Do we see others? Or do we see what we think they are? Do we see everyone else through our own opinions, biases, and stories? Is it possible to really see someone else? These eight images combine paintings of others combined with photos of myself to represent the difficulty we have with separating ourselves from the other.


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Mute

painting, photography, digital manipulation, 2006-2007

What does it feel like to have no voice? No power? No control? What is the legacy of being perceived as a thing rather than a person, a separate entity? Children are not dolls. They are not property. They are not extensions of someone's egos. They are not toys. This series explores the concept of boundaries of children and what happens when those boundaries are invisible, broken, denied.


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Seen/Unseen: Durational Performances, 1992-2005

Durational performance is the basis of my current practice. I record my performances and use them in the video and still work. However, from 1992-2005, I performed works that were not documented, mostly unsited, sometimes unsighted, intensely personal and often created surreptitiously in the still hours of the morning, very late at night or at other quiet times. Since the work was intentionally undocumented, I have shown the location of the performance and given a short description of the intention of the work.