Based on a practice of rigorous self-interrogation via Buddhist meditation and tonglen, durational Butoh-inspired performance and dérive, my intensely subjective works address issues of emotional intelligence, relationship, identity, the subconscious and memory. Exploring what it is to be human by looking at the messy, scary, ordinary and extraordinary bits of life from a deeply personal point of view, the work aims to activate the psychological, spiritual and political potential of the self.
video, sound 10m, 4s 2014
This piece explores what we don't want to see in ourselves...all the scary, shameful, ugly, lewd parts of our history. They haunt us...our dreams, our memories...they color the way we see ourselves and in the way we act in the world...what we think we are capable of. This piece asks us to notice them, to look at them...to see them. And by doing that, perhaps we can start to see ourselves differently...be better, act better, see ourselves and others with more compassion.
drawing, photography, digital manipulation, 2014
Everyday, we make thousands of adjustments to ourselves...minute adjustments to fit in, to assimilate, to stand back, to get along, to remain invisible. We are so afraid of being different...so afraid of each other and our differences...so afraid to make eye contact...to look into each other's eyes...to see each other...really see each other. And, what if we did...see each other...stop calibrating and start connecting...
Am I Who I Am?
drawing, video, motion graphics, sound 5m, 2013-2014
Who are we? How do we figure it out? What signifiers do we use to know who we are? What happens when those signifiers disappear? Who am I without labels and categories? Am I only my feelings? I created nine drawings - psychological self -portraits. These were digitized and animated and layered with the video on which the drawings were based. These elements were combined with a soundscape that was created with sounds from a day in my life and a melody created from numbers of personal significance to create a piece which explores the complex emotional reactions to loss of identity and familiarity.
video, sound, 5m, 2013
What happens when everything changes? How do we react? Where do we dig in? What is our comfort zone? How flexible or rigid are we? These are the questions with which this video deals. This piece was created during the first 6 months after moving to a new country where everything was different and unfamiliar; and, the sense of loss and being lost was constant. It is an exploration of what it means to change, to shift, to be shifted.
painting, photography, digital manipulation, 2011-2013
How do we deal with disappointment, disillusion, rejection and fear? As I continue to explore questions of identity, vulnerability and aging, I find that there are places inside myself that I didn't know were there (or more truthfully would like to hide). I am discovering the mean, violent, spiteful, despairing and overly self-conscious parts of myself. I strongly believe I must look at myself if I am to make a difference in the world. This piece looks deeply to see the truth of that self.
Ease Me Into Invisibility
painting, motion graphics, video, sound, 5m 3s, 2009-2013
This piece explores aging as a path to social and cultural invisibility. Video and digitized drawings and paintings were layered and animated to create a piece which considers the life cycle from childhood to old age and delves into the inevitability most of us face as we age, an awareness of our decrease in value. Deconstructed chords and lyrics from the hymn, I'll Fly Away were used to create the soundscape.
drawing, painting, photography, digital manipulation, 2009-2013
This series was created by combining nine psychological self-portraits reflecting various ages, which were digitized, manipulated and recombined with performance stills. This piece explores the questions: What is the value of a person in terms of her age? As we grow older, do we lose parts of ourselves but gain through experience? As we age are we enhanced or diminished?
Another Moment Of Silence
drawing, painting, photography, video, motion graphics, sound, 10m 20s, 2006-2013
This video explores the dichotomy between victim and perpetrator. In this deeply personal piece, I asked myself, when am I the perpetrator, the creator of violence? Where is the line between the violence I enact on the world in little ways everyday and what is done to me. I wondered, why do I always think of myself as on the side of the good? Do we all draw the line that way? In a world with so much overt, mass violence, it is easy to be the victim, or at least, not the perpetrator, but I questioned...is this so?
painting, photography, digital manipulation, 2006-2013
What does it feel like to have no voice? No power? No control? What is the legacy of being perceived as a thing rather than a person, a separate entity? Children are not dolls. They are not property. They are not extensions of someone's egos. They are not toys. This series explores the concept of boundaries of children and what happens when those boundaries are invisible, broken, denied.
video, sound, 5m, 2012
Do I remember when I first discovered my toes? Probably not...but I tried to imagine what these earliest memories might be like. This piece explores the physicality and psychology of infants as they are first encountering their world and themselves. Hummed nursery rhymes provide the sound to create a dream-like world inspired by early childhood.
Be A Star...Boom
drawing, photography, painting, digital manipulation, 2010-2012
When childhood is interrupted, whether by hunger, violence, neglect, abuse or any number of other variables, a star is lost. And when the star is gone, there is no boom. Distrust and defended-ness are what takes its place. This makes our world a very sad place...very few stars, very few booms. This series is a meditation on loss in childhood and the resulting masked vulnerability that is the by-product. It encourages us to be a star anyway...to boom anyway. It was created with drawings and paintings that were digitized, manipulated and recombined with performance stills.
video, motion graphics, sound, 9m 2s, 2012
This piece explores expressions of emotion...uncontrolled or manipulative, outwardly-focused emotion and repressed feelings that we only let out in private. We are all capable of using, consciously or not, our emotional expressions to manipulate a situation, assure an outcome...to get our way. Similarly, we have all been in situations where we must hide our feelings for the same reasons. Our emotional lives as human beings shape our thoughts, actions and beliefs. In this very personal work, these expressions are exposed to illuminate just how incredibly vulnerable we are.
video, motion graphics, sound, 5m 4s, 2012
Abandonment, specifically early childhood abandonment is the theme of this piece. Using physical barriers as a metaphor for the constructs that are created as a reaction to perceived rejection, the video explores the psychology of abandonment and the behaviors that develop to defend against the massive betrayal a child experiences as a result of abandonment. The soundscape describes the attempt to connect over huge emotional gulfs by layering one voice over another as if trying to reach out and sync that which cannot be.
Solo Party Dress
digital drawings, video, motion graphics, sound, 5m 11s, 2012
What began as a meditation on and a "I cannot pretend this isn't happening" confrontation with neglect and abuse, resulted in this "girls just want to have fun, dancing with myself" piece. Over a period of almost a year, I created drawings of abused animals, digitized them, then digitally drew the negative spaces between the bodies. Using the Buddhist practice of tonglen to transform suffering, multiple layers of these 800+ shapes were animated, and combined with animated graphics, 1920's inspired movement and gypsy-rag sound loops to create a kaleidoscope of eye candy that transforms my pain over the horrors of inhumanity into a "private moment" kind of joy.
The Usefulness Of Persistent Distance
video, motion graphics, sound, 10m 13s, 2011
This video looks at the means by which we use distance to create autonomy. Emotional and physical barriers are constructed for various purposes such as the allowance of intense focus, preservation of sanity or safety and development of the self. The images in this work are metaphorical vignettes that explore distancing behavior.