Based on a practice of rigorous self-interrogation via meditation, activism, butoh and durational performance, these intensely subjective works, which utilize dance & performance, video & sound, drawing & painting and photography address issues of emotional intelligence, relationship, identity, memory, intimacy, and the subversion of ego. As I strongly believe I must look at myself if I am to make a difference in the world, my work explores what it means to be human at the present time from a deeply personal point of view and aims to activate the psychological, spiritual and political potential of the self to change and to create change.
The foundation of many of my videos and live performances is durational performance. The process of creating a piece often starts with an undocumented performance, usually in a public place, which informs how the piece will proceed. I may perform a piece multiple times before creating a video or performing it live with an audience. This allows me to fully understand the emotional and physical content of the piece, such that the video or live performance remains true to the original intent. Edited video with sound creates a piece which extends beyond the meaning of the original work and becomes its own thing. Performing live with an audience alters the work because there is always a response to being seen.
Since I began making work, I have created and mostly destroyed over 1000 drawings and paintings, partly as an investigation of impermanence and partly as a reaction to a deep self-consciousness and uncomfortability with being seen. Beginning in 2011, in an effort to make sense of it all, I started to look at the digital versions of the paintings and drawings and in doing so, began to create digital prints which layer multiple drawings and paintings with photos and video stills. My intent was to capture something of the original piece while also exploring my destructive impulse. Since then, I have continued to make digital prints with old and new destroyed work, as well as work created specifically for print.
Grounded in expressionism and informed conceptually by my performances, these works investigate emotional, physical and spiritual states in real time, using the fluidity of paint to allow for randomness and discovery. Demanding that I relinquish control and become the means to an unknown end, the psychological portraits that emerge are a representation of what is true in a particular moment and an investigation of the illusionary nature of control and also the lack of it.
In these drawings, as in earlier work, I have used child-like figures as stand-ins, symbols, and signifiers for emotions, stories and situations in an ongoing effort to tell the truth and explore vulnerability. For me, drawing does not lie. It is in my drawing practice that I am the most honest about the content and concepts with which I work. It is also where I explore my deepest insecurities and self-consciousness, while also investigating the nature of resistance to these.
Durational performance is the basis of my current practice. I either record the performances and use them in video pieces or develop them into a live performance piece. However, from 1992-2005, as part of a practice of creating hidden works (is it art if no one sees it or realizes that it is "art" that they are seeing) and happenings (you had to be there), I performed pieces that were not documented, mostly unsited and unsighted, intensely personal and often created surreptitiously in the still hours of the morning, very late at night or at other quiet times. Since the work was intentionally undocumented, I have shown the approximate location of the performance and given a short description of the intention of the work. In 2013, I returned to this practice, incorporating the performances into video and live performance pieces.