Based on a practice of rigorous self-interrogation via meditation, activism, butoh and durational performance, these intensely subjective works address issues of emotional intelligence, relationship, identity, memory, intimacy, and the subversion of ego. As I strongly believe I must look at myself if I am to make a difference in the world, my work explores what it means to be human at the present time from a deeply personal point of view and aims to activate the psychological, spiritual and political potential of the self to change and to create change.

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Help!

live performance with sound, 10m, 2015

This piece was created specifically for the Arts Emergency Rescue Centre Event to investigate the qualities of mentoring and being mentoring, needing, being needed, assisting, needing assistance. It was performed on May 1, 2015 at BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art, Newcastle, England. Photos by Anna Miller


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I'm Gonna Tell...But You Don't Have To Listen

video, 10m, 2014-2015

If you told your story, what would you say? In this silent piece, I tell...I tell the things I am ashamed of, the things I wish I had done differently, the things I would change if I could...the things that make me cringe and the things that keep me awake at night.


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And Then There Was All That Time...

video with sound, 10m, 2012-2014

What do we do with our time? Is it productive? Do we waste it? How do we spend it? Do we have regrets? Will we have regrets? Should we change course? Alter the path? We cannot see where we are going, only where we have been. How do we do the right thing? Does it matter? What do we tell ourselves to make it alright? What would it take to change? Do we care? Who is making the decisions? What are the conflicts? How will we feel about it all when it is over?


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What We Carry

live performance with Chonyid, 25m, 2014

What memories do we carry with us? Can these memories transform us? What is the journey of memory? Performed with Chonyid on November 11, 2014 at Unearthing Forgotten Horrors, Star and Shadow Cinema in Newcastle, England. Shots of performance and rehearsal.


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See Them

video with sound 10m, 4s 2013-2014

What don't we want to see in ourselves...all the scary, shameful, ugly, lewd parts of our history? They haunt us...our dreams, our memories...they color the way we see ourselves and in the way we act in the world...what we think we are capable of. This piece asks us to notice them, to look at them...to see them. And by doing that, perhaps we can start to see ourselves differently...be better, act better, see ourselves and others with more compassion.


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live performance with sound, 10m, 2014

What does it feel like to always be searching for the next pat on the back? To always be looking for approval, applause, accolades, validation, attention? This excerpt from a longer durational work is the basis for an upcoming video piece and was performed on November 4, 2014 at FRESH North East, Dance City in Newcastle, England. Shots of performance and rehearsal. Photos by Camilla Greenwell for FRESH North East.


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Hide Them

live performance with sound, 25m, 2013

This covert performance was created as a counterpoint and as preparation for the video See Them to investigate the impulse to hide parts of ourselves. Performed and photographed in Gateshead, England on November 15, 2013.


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Shifted

video with sound, 5m, 2012-2013

What happens when everything changes? How do we react? Where do we dig in? What is our comfort zone? How flexible or rigid are we? These are the questions with which this video deals. This piece was created during the first 6 months after moving to a new country where everything was different and unfamiliar; and, the sense of loss and being lost was constant. It is an exploration of what it means to change, to shift, to be shifted.


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Another Moment Of Silence

video with sound, 10m 20s, 2006-2013

In this deeply personal piece, I asked myself, when am I the perpetrator, the creator of violence? Where is the line between the violence I enact on the world in little ways everyday and what is done to me. I wondered, why do I always think of myself as on the side of the good? Do we all draw the line that way? In a world with so much overt, mass violence, it is easy to be the victim, or at least, not the perpetrator, but I questioned...is this so? Commission for {Re}HAPPENING 2013, Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center, Black Mountain, NC, USA


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Simulation

video with sound, 9m 2s, 2008-2012

We are all capable of using, consciously or not, our emotional expressions to manipulate a situation, assure an outcome...to get our way. Similarly, we have all been in situations where we must hide our feelings for the same reasons. Our emotional lives as human beings shape our thoughts, actions and beliefs. In this very personal work, these expressions are exposed to illuminate just how incredibly vulnerable we are.


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Containments

video with sound, 5m 4s, 2006-2012

Abandonment, specifically early childhood abandonment is the theme of this piece. Using physical barriers as a metaphor for the constructs that are created as a reaction to perceived rejection, the video explores the psychology of abandonment and the behaviors that develop to defend against the massive betrayal a child experiences as a result of abandonment. The soundscape describes the attempt to connect over huge emotional gulfs by layering one voice over another as if trying to reach out and sync that which cannot be.


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The Usefulness Of Persistent Distance

video with sound, 10m 13s, 2010-2012

Emotional and physical barriers are constructed for various purposes such as the allowance of intense focus, preservation of sanity or safety and development of the self. The images in this work are metaphorical vignettes that looks at the means by which we use distance to create autonomy. This piece was commissioned for Synthesis, MoogFest Public Art Celebration, Asheville, NC, USA


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Solo Party Dress

video with sound, 5m 11s, 2009-2011

What began as a meditation on and a "I cannot pretend this isn't happening" confrontation with neglect and abuse, resulted in this "girls just want to have fun, dancing with myself" piece. Over a period of almost a year, I created drawings of abused animals, digitized them, then digitally drew the negative spaces between the bodies. Using the Buddhist practice of tonglen to transform suffering, multiple layers of these 800+ shapes were animated to create a kaleidoscope of eye candy that transforms my pain over the horrors of inhumanity into a "private moment" kind of joy.


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Hyfee

video with sound, 5m, 2007-2010

Do I remember when I first discovered my toes? Probably not...but I tried to imagine what these earliest memories might be like. This piece looks at the physicality and psychology of infants as they are first encountering their world and themselves. Hummed nursery rhymes provide the sound to create a dream-like world inspired by early childhood.


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Seen/Unseen

durational performances, 1992-2005

Durational butoh performance is the basis of my current practice. I either record the performances and use them in video pieces or develop them into a live performance piece. However, from 1992-2005, as part of a practice of creating hidden works (is it art if no one sees it or realizes that it is "art" that they are seeing) and happenings (you had to be there), I performed pieces that were not documented, mostly unsighted, intensely personal and often created surreptitiously in the still hours of the morning, very late at night or at other quiet times. Since the work was intentionally undocumented, I have shown the approximate location of the performance and given a short description of the intention of the work.